Big Little ThingsYou shoulda hired us
And this is by the Ad Council! For shame.
They shoulda told their interns to write it like this:
When I graduate, it’s like my mom graduates too.
The first big problem is the word ‘if’ because it implies that their target audience (presumably kids who may not graduate high school) actually may not graduate high school. If you’re trying to encourage kids to graduate, why would you promote the possibility that they won’t?
Then of course there’s a step missing in the idea that when a kid graduates, he “makes it” and because he’s made it, his mom (a part of his mom?) has made it too. Sure you can understand what it means if you sit with it for a while, but this is advertising on the side of a bus stop kiosk! It’s meant to be read by people driving by. It’s too clunky and unclear to give inspiration.
March 7th, 2007 at 9:07 am
yes! i’m telling you, every time i’ve walked by this ad in the past few weeks, i become infuriated by how poorly written it is. crikey. i think it took me two or three separate instances to actually figure out what the hell they were saying in the first place.
March 7th, 2007 at 9:20 am
right on, mary. let us know about any others that could use the “shoulda hire us” treatment.